I went out for a run today for the first time in a month. Between the Marathon being such a mental and physical drain on the system, I also needed to tend to many other things that were on the back burner.
Today was a short run. I really did not want to do it but I knew the feeling I would get once I got out there. The same feeling of comfort that I have every time I get out for a run, bike or swim. Endurance sports have been a saving grace for me since the day we lost Adam. Three years today....it still dose not seem real. At the same time it feels like he has been gone longer than that. Once you get over the idea that he really wont be coming over you get used to life. Not a life that I would like to get used to. One of the many reasons endurance sports is such a blessing is the perspective you can find. As with life not everything goes according to plan. It's not all how YOU would want it. Training and racing are a mirror to that, and it reminds you all most daily that you can choose to like what you have and where you are at and build from there. Or you can sit in the situation, that you don't like to begin with, and stew.
I have been one to stew in the past and there is nothing good about it. My first training season with "Team In Training" taught me one of the greatest lessons I have ever learned. ALWAYS BE POSITIVE! Even when things don't go your way. Keep moving and do your best with what you have now. Push yourself to understand what you have, where you are at and make it better. Never ignore the truth, just make it/yourself better. It is usually not easy to do but the feeling you get when you get there is worth every drop of effort.
Today I got up early for that run that I did not want to take.
After I located all the stuff I needed and hit the road,
I found what I knew was out there.
Peace, and the ability to feel free.
To look out over the landscape and know that God is so big. That I am so small yet He loves me more than anything else in the world.
Getting out is a challenge but if you want to find peace and perspective you need to take the first step. My father has been making that choice for months now and I could not be more proud of him. He is starting to look like a different person.
I am going to shower up and suprise him at work today so I can spend the day with mom and dad at work today. It's just something I feel I need to do.
God bless you today. May He make the difference for you today. It is His love that has kept me going. His love gave us the strength we needed to cope with Adams cancer and it is His love that holds us while he is gone.
No one knows the loss better than Him. Today we are all blessed.
Make the choice to find His peace today and every day. He sacrificed everything to give it to you.
Find your place where you can accept it.