Saturday, January 2, 2010

New Year

I am very excited about the new year. The end of the last one was a fantastic challenge. Choosing to sell the house, loosing a job and all of the awkward things that accompany those things made a personally challenging time. There have been many times when I have thought that I was at the end of my rope and I wanted to break, but whenever those moments have occurred, I am quickly reminded by that calm still voice that it is not about me and weather I am at the end of some kind of rope. I created the rope and I decide weather or not I have any more left to give. I am quickly reminded as a follower of Christ that the rope is not mine any more, I have given Him my rope and there is no end to it. In the past month I have felt as broken and emotionally challenged as any time in my life. Trust is such a easy thing to think about but when all of your wordily securities begin to fall away and you really need to trust, when you really need to make good decisions in light of fantastically painful situations, do you do it with joy. Is that trust stronger than your earthly securities that we all rely upon. As a couple Janet and I are in the myer of this challenge. I am so thankful every moment for the partner that God has blessed me with. She is my life saver.
I am excited about the things to come in the next year. I am hoping that our challenges begin to lessen some but know that if we continue to walk in this storm that He will guide us to brighter days. Typing that reminds me of a saying that a prof at College used to say often. In summary it was about how being a christian is not a fix it. Having God direct your life dose not guarentee good things will always happen. On the contrary you will face more challenges. As in life there will be dirty times, and as a christian those dirty times become dirtier because the devil wants noting more than to break you from your reliance upon your Creator. But if you find the joy in your pain you will experience joy like you could never otherwise experience on the other end. As dark and dirty your pitfalls will be will not compare to the joy and happiness you will experience on the other end. With Christ the joy is endless and beyond belief.
There is no doubt that we are in one of life's pitfalls but as we are here we know we are blessed. I am amazed by the things that continue to challenge us but those things that try to break us become really small when we take the focus off of ourselves. IT IS NOT ABOUT US, IT IS NOT ABOUT "ME" OR "I" as hard as it is for me to comprhend I know that placing my trust in God I give up the right to be offended. I am a tool to reflect His grace not my "feeling" and emotions. Those things are messy and his love and grace is endless and consistant. That is our challenge, reflect His love and grace. It is so hard but it is a joy to try. It is our command to try untill our days are through on this earth. I saw Adam do it while he was at his end I can cirtianlly do it now. I know I can't, but I know with his strength I can.
This has basically been a pep talk for myself but more than anything I hope it encourages you too.