Hard to believe summer is now in full swing. So many things to do so little time to do it all with. Not a bad problem to have. As training ramps up for me I am reminded even more, of the value and the necessity of perspective.
One of the most valuable lessons endurance training reminds me of is perspective. There are special skill/talent sets that we all have uniquely, and on top of that only so muchtime to to it all with, so finding a way to enjoy exactly who you are, and where you are at, is key to enjoying the blessings around you. Stress is such a joy stealer! Things never go exactly the way you want them to, and there is not much youcan do about it. Choose to accept it, or be crabby and affect everyone else around you. So often I see people that I train and race with that have good realistic goals for their training and racing. But once they get pulled from their goal it wrecks everything else they do. It happens everyday
to everyone no matter what you do.
I could make this the longest post ever if I started to explain all the things that have not gone the way I could/would have expected life to go in the past five years. It is what it is. These are the challenges I have been faced with, and I have been promised that I have the skills to handle each and every challenge weather I want to or not. I have lost great friends, Grandmothers, my brother, wisely chosen to move from the house we
built and loved,
excused from my job with no explanation, and I will never get an answer to
why on any of it? Is that unfair or what? I don't think so, not for a minute! This is what life has given me, and I know that as tough as much of it is, I am blessed beyond measure. There are hardships out there that make my situation look like a beautiful summer day.
It's fathers day today, and I went for an early morning jog (5am) with
my dear friend Angel that I had the honor of racing my first TNT race with in 07. As we ran and talked I reflected on Adam and my Mom and
Dad. I thought about how I could never possibly un
derstand the gravity of loosing a son. He was my brother and my longing for him grows stronger every year he is gone. But to loose a son....I marvel at the strength they have. The support they have given us. The joy they find in every day. Even if is just
a little. To find any joy after that loss is a marvel.
It's fathers day today and I miss my brother. It would have been so fun to see him with his son Adison as he grows up into the big boy he is today. It's the simple thing that are so precious. I am reminded ofit every time I hold my kids and am overwhelmed by the joy they bring to my life. The innocence they have, the seemingly limitless joy and excitement they have in the simplest things. It feels embarrassing to know that we loose so much of that joy as we get older, but I know it is never lost. We just have to slow down.....relax....turn off the distractions and find the joy all around us. I feel foolish every time I am tempted to turn the TV or radio on when my kids are around as if they are not worth all my attention.
Today I am jobless and my heart feels great loss, yet I look around and I am blessed beyond measure. My wife is my everything and is so amazing and trusting with our situation and were we are in life together. We live at home with mom and dad and sister again and I must say as challenging as it is to have seven in one house, it has brought us a level of healing together that would have never happened any other way. Funny to s
ay that I don't struggle to wonder why nothing has been working out for me these past six months. I know where I am at and it is a wonderful place, as difficult as it is sometimes.
I don't think it was God's plan for all this junk to happen in our lives. I do know that it is exactly His plan for us to trust that He will be our strength to get us through it and bless us beyond measure on the other end. I know what it is that gets my parents through the day after loosing their son, it is the grace and the passionate love of God and their choice to accept it. Honestly there is no other answer. Great things will likely be in store for us soon but I reflect on today and I feel blessed. I know we are exactly were we need to be and I am excited to see the doors open for us in a new and refreshing way.
I am in control of today and what I will do with it, and soon I am going to take a nap :) It's fathers day and soon we will enjoy the company of family and friends at the house here. Today started with my run with Angel at 5am for two hours then a swim in the river with five more friends from TNT for 2 miles. This daddy needs a nap!
Happy fathers day to all those fathers out there and a blessed day to those whom fathers day has a tint if sorrow. I pray that you find grace and peace where you are at, and make the time to see the blessings around you. It may not be the way you wanted it but it is exactly were you are at and I promise you it can be a good thing.