Winter Wait

Training is back in swing. I am taking my time getting back into things. I went for my first run since the marathon last Sat. It felt great to run again. It felt even better to be training with TNT. This season of training will be very fun and different. The race is local and the team is 140 racers strong. I was curious how training would go with that many people, but it is fantastic. Our coaches have done a great job of handling all of us well and still are able to cater to all the different physical abilities. I can't say enough good things about TNT.

I am epically excited to be training with Erek Swenson and Wes Aldinger. It is extra special to be training with friends that know why I race and fund raise.

More than anything this time of year really challenges me mentally. Winter seems to drag on and the sun seems to hide more than anything. My challenges have been epically difficult this year. Loosing Adam is a difficult enough task to deal with, but when relationships in your life break down because of it, the adjustment becomes down right painful. It is interesting because loosing Adam was never painful to me, I don't think anyways? Adam understood exactly what was happening and he faced it with courage and only worried because he knew that his absence would be painful for others. I respect that, and it is what has inspired me to being better. My heart aches for him at times. I sometimes wonder what job he's working on when I see a Lakeland truck on the road and then remember that he's gone. That's weird. His faith never wavered and God comforted him and guided him through his cancer. I cannot be bitter about that. I hate cancer. I hate that any one of us is vulnerable to it. I hate that kids have to experience it. I know full well that life is not fair. So I don't expect much when it comes to the basics of life. I know that God will provide for me in any circumstance. The big picture is more important and Adam knew what that was. I am confident in what that is. I have seen amaizing things too many times to deny the awesome power of God. A loss like this is painful when your relationships around you break down. Not much in life goes according to "our plan," so why worry about it.

Healing comes with honesty and unity. Pain is born out of all of the things that honesty and respect do not represent. It is easy to have "issues" with one another when we solely focus in each other. We will always disappoint each other. That is to be expected. We are commanded to look to God for strength and wisdom and to focus on him for the answers. There is where we find forgiveness. I don't think that I take it seriously enough. I can't say that I have spent any extra time praying for situations like these in my life. I am foolish enough to sit and wait for thing to happen. I am confident that things will work out in due time.

Waiting is difficult.

Praying is what I need to do.

Be of good cheer. Do not think of today's failures, but of the success that may come tomorrow. You have set yourselves a difficult task, but you will succeed if you persevere; and you will find a joy in overcoming obstacles. Remember, no effort that we make to attain something beautiful is ever lost. – Helen Keller