Final Tune up

Saturday morning was our last major tune-up before the big race. Coach put together another mock tri, this time Olympic size. The only concern I had about Disney was the distance. It seemed daunting, with a mile swim at the front, and a 6.2 mile run at the end. Saturday, my concerns were diminished after completing the Olympic mock tri. The only difference between an Olympic tri, and an international one(Disney) is ten more miles on the bike, and at that point, to me, it's not that big of a deal. I have been humbled so much in the past month. I am used to being able to train how I want to train, and thus excel the way I know I can excel. Life as of late has had other ideas, and it has taught me many life lessons. The biggest humility. I am not used to not being on top, or at least competing to be on top. In the past two mock tris, I have finished third out of three with the guys both times. I want to be frustrated and blame something, granted not everything has gone well in the races for me. Yet I know there is a good reason for me not being at the top of this group. I could break down specific things that give cause, and how I could change them to be the best, yet when I fell that urge I feel that small calm voice whisper, "be still." To me that is God telling me to pay attention. So I'm paying attention. Because of it, I am seeing so much more of the whole picture of why I am doing this race. That is more rewarding. I feel that the experience of the past year is teaching me to slow down with what I want to do, because it is never supposed to be about me, or what I think I want. Pastor Dan Roelofs always conveyed that point. He was always one to pray first to know that God was leading him in whatever it was that he was doing. I am not saying at all that I am on that level but I am seeing how important it is to step back and let the experience teach you something, instead of plowing through the experience just to be on top.

I am so proud of John, and Brad, and Angel, and how they have dominated there strengths and how they have improved their weaknesses to the point that they are no longer weaknesses at all. It gives me much more joy to reflect back and see their accomplishments, both in the races and in training. We are a pretty evenly matched group in the long run, and that has made this group very special. We are just starting to bond as a team. I was a bit nervous about the race approaching so soon. Now I am extremely exited and look forward to building an even closer bond with some pretty amazing people. The race will be the race. It could be perfect, it could be a disaster. Who knows and frankly who cares. I know that my team mates will do whatever it takes to do their best. When that gun goes off, I know that we will finish strong, no matter what the obstacle. This race is not what is important. The people we are racing for, is what is important. People, those kids and their parents, Erin and Adison, my family and all the other families that have lost their sons, brothers, fathers, and husbands. That is why we are racing. Brenden, and his family, and the hope that they have that he will be 100% healthy. That is why we race. I love "Team in Training" because it is not about us.

Right now, I don't care if I finish last, as long as I give it my all and finish strong. Deep down I know I will lay it all on the line that day, and where ever that puts me is great. I thank God for the opportunity to race with this team. I thank God for our coach and all the things she has taught me mentally. Her style is completely opposite of anything I have been used to in the past. I feel privileged to be part of this team. I feel privileged to race for these kids and their families. I feel stronger, after loosing Adam, that I am giving hope to those that have a chance. I'm sure that Adam may be unhappy about the way I am doing some things, but I know he is proud of this. I know he will be pushing me Sep. 23. I miss him so much.

I have been working around the house a lot this past week to get ready for the big "cornhole tournament" and today I realized just how much I miss him. more and more every day. He was always here when I had projects going on. And I was always over there when he has projects going on. I have a lot of projects....I don't have Adam anymore. Not as much gets done when you loose your other half. I just realized that tonight. Typically I could have gotten all this done in time. I'm not so sure about this time, but that's all right. Not everything has to be just the way I want it. In the future I now know to double the time.

It's all good. I have so much to be thankful for, so much support and so much to look forward to. God has great things planned for us and we will do our best to follow that lead.