Finished

What an experience. I have so many things going through my head I don't know where to start. Immediately my deepest thanks go out to all those who sent me on this journey. Without all the generous support of letters, donations, and help for my fund raisers, and all the help I received to allow me to train for this event, THANK YOU! What a blessing!
I look back to when I first started training for this event and think about the process of healing that I have gone through during this event and I am encouraged about the future. I know that the healing process of losing Adam will likely last my lifetime, yet I feel very secure about it, after going through this race. One of the big reason for that is, because I firmly feel that when you loose yourself, the best way to find your way back is in the service of others. Being able to serve others along with Brad and John made it even more amazing.
I really went through a roller coaster of emotions during training. From excitement, to self doubt, to contentment, to determination. Those are just the one's at the fore-front. Come race day, I chose to focus, I chose to finish strong.
I had hoped for a "rock star" swim but knew that realistically, it would be just ok. I need about another year of training for my swim to be where I want it to be. Sure enough my swim was ok. We were not able to enter the water at all before the race so there is no warming up. The course was a horse shoe. In all of the other "sprint tri's" the swim has been a out and back with a constant string line of buoys. This was more typical for a bigger tri. There were single large inflated buoys spaced out about every 50 yards or so. That meant that if you didn't look up to "sight" often you would get a bit off course. I would say that I swam closer to 1.25miles that day, but I was happy with it. After I made the two left hand turns and was on the long final stretch I wanted to be done, but I was far from it. I just kept telling myself that it was the last time that I "needed" to swim for a while and tried to push myself through it. I want to swim like Brad and that will take a lot of training. He rocks!
After I got out of the water and my head stopped spinning, it was off to the bike. I was happy with the transition and was determined to crank out a solid bike.
The start was slower than I expected (about 19mph) and I had a difficult time getting any more out of it. Then some little rolling hills came up and I had a challenge about 4 miles in. I was excited to see the hills because I enjoy digging deep to conquer hills. Sure enough after the second little hill my legs woke up, and on the back side of the hill I was at 23-24mph and was able to sustain it for the next 20miles. I loved the bike. I was playing cat and mouse with some great bikers and felt great that I was able to even keep up, let alone pass on occasion. Along the way I made it a point to encourage other Team In Training bikers with a "good work Team in Training, keep it up!" It really kept me going, cheering on other TNT racers.
About mile 25 I learned a lesson. If you want to race at a certain pace (23mph) for a certain mileage (37) be sure you train at least once at that speed without stopping. Around mile 25 my body knew that it had not gone that far, at that consistent pace. My hips started to tell me "no more." Not wanting to slow, or stop, I continued to push as hard as I could, through the ever increasing pain. For the next 8 miles that pain increased until both of my hips felt like I had two hot knives digging deeper and deeper. My speed dropped to 15-18mph as I attempted to get back up to 23mph. I was resigning to the fact that it wasn't going to happen, so I attempted to adjust my positioning to make it less painful, while maintaining as much as I possibly could.
During this time a few people were able to pass me back up, and that was getting old fast. There was one gentleman in particular that I really didn't like being passed by, and so I pushed every time he got by me. He wound up being a nice guy and we gave some small talk as we traded positions. Eventually my hips just numbed a bit and I looked down and got up to 20mph. As I neared the end of the bike, I gave it all I had. As the pain increased, I focused on the red bracelet that I had written on. On it I wrote "BIKE FOR BRENDEN!" My memories of his playful laugh and his non-stop energy helped me to focus on my goal, and eventually tolerate the pain. The last 3 miles I got back to 23mph and finished strong. I was able to carry that into the run.

The run....oh the run! By this time the clouds we no longer around, just sun. Thankfully the run course was 40% shaded by trees. It's the other 60% that was the problem. I was determined to run the 6.2 mile course without walking and to help me to focus I had another bracelet on that I had written "RUN FOR ADAM." After Adam had passed I ran out of the house and I never wanted to stop. Now I could run and I was determined to have a strong run for him. I felt good and kept my legs going. I quickly noticed that about 40% of the racers were walking, and I was determined not to be one of them. I got to the first water station and dumped water on my head without stopping. I was well hydrated, no cramps. One water station at a time just keep pushing. Now the next mile and a half was all sun and it was getting to me. Later, I found out that the heat index was 105 degrees. I started to feel the tingling skelp and knew that my time would be severly longer if I fainted so I told my self to get to the next water station and walk through it and cool off. By this time about 50% of the runners were walking and I was still determined not to walk unless I felt faint. So many times I wanted to walk, and I came close many times. Yet each time I felt tempted I saw in front of me a race jersey with a picture pinned on the back of it. A picture of a father or a mother with their child whom they were running in memory of. They were still running. I had to keep running. I walked the water stations, and dumped water on my head to cool off and made sure I could keep going.
A few times my pace slowed more and more and I mentally wanted to just slow down but I kept reflecting back to a memory that I focused on when I was on the bike. When my hips were "on fire" and I didn't think I could keep my pace up in the bike. I remembered Adam at his celebration party. That day his morphine drip fanny pack came un-hooked and he was not able to wear it that night. So all night long, he did his best to smile, and laugh and give people another great memory of Adam. At one point I asked him how he was doing it, because I knew how much pain he was in, and he replied with a classic Adam smirk, "Smoke and mirrors brother, smoke and mirrors." At the end of the night, many of you may remember, he sent us all off with his patented "Pee-Wee Herman" dance to Tequila. I don't know how he did that, but he did, and he did it for everyone, he did it with a smile on his face. As I felt pain I sang it out loud, over and over, and I imagined Adam on that floor, doing his thing for everyone else. Adam was with me race day, just like every day. And he gave me that memory to get me through, what a brother!
I finished that run strong. I left it all on the course.
Our team finished strong that day. I would venture to say that we had the strongest team there. I know we showed it that day.
I could not be happier with my finish time. 3hr 15min 11sec. Tenth in my age group and about 75th overall out of about 1300 racers. I wouldn't believe it if I didn't see it my self. So to say the least I am hooked on Tri's. I love everything about it. I highly recommend it to everyone. Yes everyone.
Rewarding, in so many ways. Personally, I lost 40 pounds and am in the best shape of my life, and I was in pretty good shape in high school. Supporting little Brenden's family is worth everything to me and would do it again tomorrow, for sure. Rewarding, from a team aspect. The new friendships I now have in my team mates and the deepened relationships I have with Brad and John are invaluable. Knowing that our team of seven raised close to 30K and all the 301 TNT racers around the country raised over 1.1 million dollars, in this race alone. It goes to cancer research and family support. It is so crazy fantastic I can't put it into words. So I will just say this. Join, do it! Do whatever you can, but do something. Make a difference! Everyone will be better for it!
Make a difference!